Thursday, December 3, 2009

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century


Yesterday, I was discussing smooth femdom with a friend who asked how do I know this information; questioning the bases of my opinions on Femdom. My answer was simply reading. Then I inquired about his daily reads. The unexpected response revealed that one won't find Femdom and Tantric Devotion concepts on the cover of sports pages, nor in throws of history novels. At that point, our communication became so much like the typical Man from Venus/Woman from Mars discussion on the inferences and issues of smooth femdom and tantric devotion. This prompted me to post a recommendation to read the book Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. The author Barbara Carrellas thoroughly breaks down the ancient practice of Tantra for "the modern sexual explorers desiring to push past their edge in search of the great cosmic orgasm". This book explains the terms and concepts of tantra, the dynamic of moving chakra energy, ecstacy and heightened intimacy which are components of smooth femdom. It can be used as a guide to heightened intimacy, ecstasy, and achieve sexual and spiritual bliss. Maybe, Mars will understand what Venus is saying as it pertains to smooth femdom.

In the clip below, the author Barbara Carrellas speaks on the Sex and Sensuality Panel at the 2008 Yoga and Raw Foods Expo in New York City. The author parlays her revelation of ecstatic "sacred sex". hmmmm sounds like Smooth Femdom musing to me.



Amazon source on Urban Trantra - Barbara Carrellas is an author, sex educator, and theater artist. Her pioneering Urban Tantra® workshops were named best in New York City by TimeOut/New York magazine. She is also the cofounder of Erotic Awakening, a groundbreaking series of workshops that toured the United States and Australia. Barbara has been featured in several episodes of HBO’s Real Sex. She is also the author of Luxurious Loving: Tantric Inspirations for Passion and Pleasure, numerous articles and essays, and an audio series, The Pleasure Principle. Barbara lives in New York City with her partner, trailblazing gender theory author Kate Bornstein

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

World Aids Day


Today, we are observing WORLD AIDS DAY, remembering the ones we lost, those who are suffering and those who are working to end it.

The theme for World AIDS Day 2009 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights. Global leaders have pledged to work towards universal access to HIV and AIDS treatment, prevention and care, recognising these as fundamental human rights. Valuable progress has been made in increasing access to HIV and AIDS services, yet greater commitment is needed around the world if the goal of universal access is to be achieved. Millions of people continue to be infected with HIV every year. In low- and middle-income countries, less than half of those in need of antiretroviral therapy are receiving it, and too many do not have access to adequate care services.

World AIDS Day provides an opportunity for all of us - individuals, communities and political leaders - to take action and ensure that human rights are protected and global targets for HIV/AIDS prevention, treatment and care are met.

Be Safe. Protect Yourself and others.

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Source: http://www.worldaidsday.org/

Monday, November 30, 2009

Monday Morning Beauty of the Week

I must confess that during my mundane monday morning meditation & oatmeal news time, I'm drawn to the naked men sites. It's a kooky little secret fetish and even worse, a complete waste of time. Moreover, I find it quite strange that after meditation, I put a cup of water, and half cut of oatmeal on the burner for five minutes or until I smell it burning. While the oatmeal burns I click on the laptop and read the news. Yet, increasingly, I can't resist viewing The Daily Naked Drool before I read the Guardian, The Globalist or the New York Times. I've justified this little secret fetish of mine as being simply an appreciation of the beauty of the Davidian form. However, this "Naked Man thing" has gone to new heights. I subscribe to a number of naked man sites which feature the most beautiful naked men. I've discovered that of the hundreds of public blogspot subscribers, I am the only female blogspot subscriber amongst hundreds of gay male subscribers. My god, at my age the site of a lovely naked man shouldn't be such a "cooch popper". To boot, it's kind of an embarrassing childish little secret.

The hypocrisy of it all is I've passed judgement on men who post those "that's so hot" comments. Yet, this morning, after I posted a ridiculous comment to one the naked men sites, something like; "absolutely beautiful bravo bravo applause applause"; I immediately realized there just might be a problem over here, damnit. It is official, maybe I need to find a NMA program; naked man anonymous 12 step..lol. Clearly, if I'm viewing these sites before the day starts when I'm pressed for time and burning my oatmeal, it could be a little problem in denial, hello.

However, until I pass the denial stage, or discover that there is actually such a thing as a NMA program, I'll keep feeding the fetish, so check out the monday morning beauty of the week. He definitely deserves a standing ovation. Bravo, bravo, applause applause!

Gotta go, have an uberlicious day.
Until Next Time.... BCR!

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Picture Source: Nov 27th The Daily Naked Drool

Sunday, November 29, 2009

TEN Things to be Thankful for..........


1. I am thankful for Family & Friends and their continued good health. I so appreciate all the wonderful family and friends who have been their for me through my life's journey.

2. I am thankful for Joy and Bliss......the lessons learned also

3. I am thankful for Love and Love lost

4. I am thankful for Freedom of Choice

5. I am thankful for being an American because this is the best country on the planet.

6. I am thankful for 10 fingers to touch, 10 toes that don't like being sucked, 2 arms that can lock you in a headlock, 2 legs that can lock you in a body scissor move , 1 head with a brain that I actually use, 2 eyes to view a beautiful naked man, 2 ears to hear the sounds of music, and 1 mouth to guide him.lol...

7. I am thankful for being able to think about the many insignificant useless information that only I care about; simply because I choose to.

8. I am thankful for Renewed Hope: the hope for global peace, the hope for a reduction in poverty, the hope for a more clean planet, the hope for US government backed healthcare to protect those who are unable to protect themselves, the hope for reduced hate and radicalism domestically and internationally, the hope to irraticate gender and ethnic clensing, the hope that same sex relationships will obtain equal rights, the hope to improve animal protection, the hope to reduce processing in the food industry and the hope for improved global diplomacy. I know that is quite abit of hope. Yet, I have renewed hope that it will all be obtained in my lifetime.

9. I am thankful for this Smooth Femdom blog to spew my thoughts on Femdom issues into the universe and express how I really feel.

10. I am thankful for meditation, yoga, palates, working out, music, art, literature, interesting novels that capture the resilience of the human spirit, happy children, happy adults and a life worth living.

To much is given, much is expected. Hence, I am in gratitude; as I owe so many. Therefore, I'm most appreciative.

Luv, BCR

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

FEMALE SUPREMACY? Huh....Are you Serious?


M.Lorr, of the Female Supremacy blog asserts that conventional men do not develop intimate communication skills and therefore, grow up feeling incomplete and lonely from emotional starvation. Men miss the connection they had with their moms in the early years of their lives. They see women as an extension of their mothers and look for women to fill that role, But when the majority of women withhold the love, nurturing and attention that they so desperately crave, they get filled with seething anger. She goes further to assert that some think they can force intimacy through manipulation and patriarchal aggression such as rape, assault, terrorism, and oppression.

Up until just recently, I rejected the term FEMALE SUPREMACY as nothing more than a satirical paradox. It simply seemed ridiculous because Patriarchy has dominated every culture since the beginning of time, accept for Amazonian Greek mythology. As such, patriarchal dominance has destroyed civilizations, cultures, species and now the planet. When I first became aware of the term "female supremacy", I thought it was humorously satirical due to it's mere improbability. However, the philosophical doctrine, of love, peace, compassion, empathy, sensitivity, nurturing, development is the prevalent theme underlying the definition of female supremacy. Hence, this planet needs healing from the thousands of years of continuous destruction from Patriarchal dominance.

M. Lorr further asserts that patriarchy encourages and fosters aggression and terrorism. While, Female supremacy fosters growth, unity and empowerment. Women make better managers and planners because we are more diplomatic, empathetic, intuitive and are emotionally stronger. We should leave the hard labor to the men since they are built for labor anyway. Sure there will be a few bad female seeds here and there, but that is nothing compared to the magnitude of destruction and oppression patriarchy has caused.

Although, I completely agree with her assertions, I am not clear how we can over come patriarchal dominance. Men will destroy the world before they allow their power to be stripped away. In fact, they use killing and destruction as a tool to wield power. Consequently, women create life as men destroy it. One way to reverse that dynamic is to rear your boys like you reared your girls. However, institutional gender development can intercede, and re-enforced patriarchal dominance amongst male and female children. There by leaving dominant women in the minority against the powerful traditionalist. Again, I am not sure what the answer is to this, but I hope to discover it in my lifetime. Until then, I will continue to muse about this concept. I hope this new era of the masculine submissive, metrosexual, beta male, and or the submale will evolve the current state of play.

Monday, November 16, 2009

The FemDom Construct should be defined by a Woman

The FemDom construct should be defined by women. The common patriarchal dominant construct of femdom falsely suggest that a woman has the same physical needs and sexual needs as men. In actuality, the sexual build up for men and women are different, because our bodies are different and we are socialized differently.


A woman's sensual body is not the female version of a man's sensual body. Many Femdom blogs are written from the fantasies of horny men. Frankly, it's topping from the bottom when he defines for her what her chakra spinners aught to be, rather than understand what they actually are. For example, a woman's clitoris is not a tiny penis. Therefore, when a man engages in cunnilingus he shouldn't repeatedly wack my clitoris with his tongue. Because it does nothing for me, other than being an annoyance. Where in a man can be roughly taken to the edge by yanking and sucking his penis sensually. We are different, and our bodies work differently. A woman needs more tongue penetration. His slippery tongue should go as deeply into my vaginal canal as far as he can get it to reach. He should suck out the "cooch juice" ,rim the vaginal opening, kiss the vaginal opening, and lick the vaginal walls which actually creates kinetic energy that ignites the spinning of the chakras and awakens the kundalini. Moreover, gently sucking the labia, gently sucking and licking the clitoris, and licking the internal walls of the vaginal canal generates energy that creates and epic orgasm. He should lick it in a rhythmic upward motion, instead of a that fast circular motion that porn promotes. The easiest way to train a man to bring me to orgasm is to pour a little chardenay or orange juice in the opening of the vagina while he is licking and let him lick and suck it up with the intent to keep drops from falling on the sheets. The result is an orgasmic explosion.

Frankly, I prefer a real orgasm to faking it. The point is that the Femdom experience should be defined by the Fem not the Men.

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Enigma of a Gay Dude trapped in a Black Chick's body


This Man in this picture with that body brings out the absolute lust in me! At times I feel like a gay man trapped in a woman's body. I love naked men, the kind with the beautiful Davidian form. They are a visual work of Art. As I get older, men my age have growing stomachs with out of shape bodies. I have no idea why I am visually stimulated by the male body. It's a secret fetish of sort, that won't go away. The site of a tall, fit, beautiful naked man makes my vagina throb; without being touched. No fantasy required, just a "hetero-cock", hot flesh, tight abs, a hard body, and a beautiful face. It's the weirdest thing. The lust builds up like light bulb dimmer beaming brighter and brighter. However, the light switch can easily turn off with an act of disrespect or insult. Lustful sexual intensity can build with simply the sight of a Davidian cutie. However, he can drive me from hot to cold in less that two seconds. I consider it a fetish because there are not many women who share the same erotic endorphin chakra sutras. However, my gay friends understand this completely. Therefore, this lovely picture is homage to the 30something & or 40something Naked Men with Davidian bodies. It is the essence of beauty, Bravo! Bravo!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

ACCEPTANCE: THE HARDEST SKILL TO LEARN

This artical was written from a submissive male's perspective. It reveals the sacrifice in the gift of submission.

Submissive men in female-led relationships are charged with learning many skills. They must capably perform household chores and other tasks that assist their partner and free up leisure time for her. They must develop massage, pedicure and other personal services of a more intimate nature. Learning and performing these skills are challenging. Most challenging for a submissive to learn, however, is the skill of acceptance.

Acceptance of Lack of Shared Fantasies

Most men start down the path of submission with a boatload of unrealistic and barely understood expectations about a female-led relationship. Their fantasies tend towards female Nazi camp commandants and bitchy domestic vixens in high heels and lingerie who whip them steadily as they clean floors with a toothbrush.

These fantasies are typically far from the domestic reality that is driven by demands of work, family and community. Rare indeed is the woman who cares to cater to these pre-packaged BDSM fantasies on a 24/7 basis.

The first form of acceptance for submissive men is to accept that your partner does not share your fantasy set. Women have their own set of fantasies and these may only occasionally align with those of their male submissive partners. When a male submissive attempts to superimpose an overheated fantasy set on his partner, their partner is likely to respond with resentment and revulsion that will make it more difficult to have a satisfying female-led relationship over the long haul.

This does not mean that submissives should try repress their fantasies. Rather, the submissive must accept fantasies for the pleasant and largely private inspirations that they are. In his interactions with his partner the submissive must put aside those fantasies and deal with their partner on her terms. She may prefer cuddling to the crop, romance to the rack, and so on. It may be important to her that you drop a slavish demeanor that leaves her cold. Accept her fantasies and desires as the basis for your relationship. Dip into your storehouse of fantasies selectively and lightly. Who knows, if you are subtle and lucky you might kindle a powerful shared fantasy that has pleasant real-life results.

2. Acceptance of Subordinate Position

Another tough lesson for the submissive is to truly accept one's subordinate position. In the realm of fantasy it makes such good emotional and erotic sense to be subservient. Real life, however, is tougher because one's ego is involved.

In every female-led relationship there are markers and reminders that the male fills the subordinate role. This may come when she make final decisions at odds with your recommendation or at social gatherings where she fails to introduce you but expects you to accompany her quietly. It be in a slightly sharper tone of voice when she "asks" you to do a task. Such gestures of dominance are often not warm and fuzzy. They can be somewhat shocking to a sensitive male ego used to the prerogatives and expectation sof manhood.

Yet, a male submissive must accept these gestures of dominance. Male submissives must continually remind themselves that their partners use these gestures--consciously or subconsciously--to mark out their dominance. These gestures strengthen the female-led dynamic and submissives should accept them as such.

3. Acceptance of Limits Inherent in Submissiveness

The submissive must also accept that despite their best efforts they will not fulfill all of their partner's needs and desires. After all, only an equal (or superior) logically is capable of fulfilling the emotional/erotic needs of another. The price submissives pay for the erotic charge from their submissiveness is the knowledge that they cannot possibly fulfill all of their partner's needs. The dominant/submissive dynamic, in other words is both limiting as it hopefully is liberating.

Submissives must accept these limits and support, even encourage, their partners to find erotic and emotional succor outside of their relationship. The female half of a female-led relationship may want some relief from playing the role of a Domme, just as surely as male submissives welcome a domestic alternative to their "top dog" status at work or in the community. She may want to be tied up and ravished, or treated as an equal rather than a goddess just for the change of pace.

A male submissive must accept that their very submissiveness is what may drive their partner to reach out to find emotional and erotic fulfillment in other relationships. Those submissives who are female supremacists and believe that women are inherently capable of a richer range of relationships than men may find this easier. In any event, the submissive must accept his partner's relationships with others. This is emotionally risky and very difficult, but it must be done.

4. Acceptance of Self

The starting (and ending) point of the discipline of acceptance is for the submissive to accept their orientation as a submissive. It is possible that some people are genetically predisposed to submissiveness. At a minimum, submissiveness likely stems from emotional and physical experiences that feel as profound as genetic imprinting.

A positive strategy for the submissive is to simply accept that one is submissive and focus on the quality of one's behavior. In other words, rather than waste time on pondering why one is submissive one should ask if one's behavior with self, partner and others is ethically sound and healthy. Am I communicating with my partner? Is my work good? Do my attempts to realize my fantasies lead me to unsafe behaviors? Am I really listening to what my partner is attempting to communicate? Questions like these are performance standards applicable to all people.

Once one's life is in some semblance of order it is possible to ask the question "why am I submissive." Each person's answer will be different. If that question is asked and answered within a framework of acceptance, however, we can be more assured that the answer will help us grow as human beings and not scare us to death.
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Male Submissive's Perspective
Perspective from a male submissive in a loving female-led relationship

CHASTITY--THE KEY TO A FEMALE-LED RELATIONSHIP

Interesting artical from a submissive male's perspective.

It is a commonplace observation that men tend to be sexually wanton. Left to their own devices men will opt for multiple partners, spreading their "seed" as widely as possible. Sex is quick, often brutal, and focused on a single goal--ejaculation.

Male erotic imagination is similar, flitting from image to image as hand pumps penis in an masturbatory frenzy. Quantity not quality is paramount.

Ejaculation leaves men depleted and often out of sorts. They lose their focus on their partner or the image that prompted their masturbatory fantasy. The biological and emotional signals seem to be for the male to leave and begin searching for his next sex partner. No wonder women are so often dissatisfied with their male partners.

Female-led relationships require the male to overcome this biological predisposition and the cultural conditioning that reenforces it. Female-led relationships require the male to find ultimate pleasure in his partner's pleasure, rather than the subordinating her pleasure to his own. This reorientation is a profound challenge for a male, one that no doubt accounts for the low (but growing) percentage of female-led relationships.

A program of chastity is the best way for men to reorient themselves so they are suitable for a female-led relationship. By chastity I mean that the male in a relationship does not have an orgasm unless it is in the presence and with the permission of his partner. This definition of chastity also includes celibacy, the practice of a man outside a relationship to abstain from sex, including masturbation.

Some men and their partners prefer that the man maintain chastity through self-discipline. Some men use chastity belts to enforce their chastity. There is no one right way to practice chastity, but most agree that a man who practices chastity is expressing profound respect for their partner and women generally. Many speak of their chastity as being a gift of their sex and their sexual energy to their female superior and the superior sex of which she is a part.

For a man who is used to multiple partners or, more typically, unrestricted masturbation, chastity is a profound challenge. Yet, chastity is a challenge well worth undertaking because it can help lead to a transformation of a man's relationship with his partner. Almost every account of a chastity regimen notes that the man becomes much more attentive to the needs of his partner, serving her better both sexually and in a myriad of other ways that are pleasing to her. The many religious traditions that use chastity/abstenince as a key element of their spiritual practice and service orientation are on to something.

Chastity can be a self-generated program. Perhaps a female-led relationship is just the stuff of your erotic imagination and your partner is either ignorant of the fantasy or turned off by the idea. Resolve to restrict your orgasms to situations where you have first given her ample sexual pleasure. Begin by expressing to her your great desire for an orgasm before you have one. Over time begin to ask her for permission. If you are patient and not pushy, she might come to trust you and understand the link between your good behavior and orgasm restrictions. That understanding is often the key that unlocks the door to a female-led relationship.

A male between relationships can also benefit from a chastity regimen. Set ever increasing periods between your orgasms and feel the energy that suffuses your body when you store up erotic energy. Use that energy to make yourself a more attractive potential partner for women oriented towards female-led relationships. A single man with ample stored up erotic energy will project that energy in a desirable way if he is subtle and attentive to the needs of potential partners rather than a testosterone soaked bore.

Men without partners who want or need the assurance of a chastity belt can utilize key-holding services, women who literally hold the key to their chastity devices. If you do masturbate, practice masturbating to the edge of orgasm and then stop. Do so over a course of days or weeks before you allow yourself an orgasm. This will be good practice for effectively serving a woman with your penis when you have your next relationship. When you do have an orgasm through masturbation, set the mental scene with female-led imagery and prolong the buildup to ejaculation, imagining that you are providing sexual service to an insatiable partner.

Chastity also may be demanded by certain women who are confident in their leadership role. One Domme describes her approach to chastity as follows:

I doubt I will ever have "traditional" intercourse with a male submissive again. I want/need to feel the "rush" of being with a man who understands Me as a Woman. Every submissive male I've been with has been a substandard lover. Therefore, chastity is simply a state of being for a male submissive in My world these days. Releases are few and far between (unless I give permission for self-pleasure) since, again from My POV, bringing a submissive male to climax is too much effort for too little payoff.

Of course, in some female-led relationships the male may be asked to provide sexual service with his penis while foregoing his own orgasms, a profound mental and physical challenge. Other female-led relationships will be oriented so the chastised male will provide sexual service in every way except by using his penis. Cuckolding is often incorporated so the female gets to enjoy both the subtle ministrations of her submissive and the cock-driven pleasures from her lover.

Once the relationship has reached these advanced stages, it is for the female partner to decide how best to weave chastity into the relationship. What is important to understand, however, is that chastity is one great way for submissive men to feel and express their submissiveness regardless of whether their relationship, if any, is currently female-led.
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SOURCE: Male Submissive's Perspective
Perspective from a male submissive in a loving female-led relationship

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Britsh view.....Is there any such thing as an alpha female?

Interesting artical from the Gaurdian written by Clare Longrigg in 2003. Interesting British view ............so different from the American version of an Alpha Females.
Alastair Campbell's political obituaries contained many references to the alpha male, a description which, applied to humans, apparently denotes physical prowess, high achievement, bullying and sexual attraction. It is not an entirely flattering term, calling to mind the aggressive chest-beating of a silverback gorilla, but perfectly describes someone who bends others to his will.
But what of alpha female? Alexandra Shulman, editor of Vogue, wrote in a recent column that alpha female would never get lost on the North Circular, and would look good in a miniskirt. Is she, like Shirley Conran's Superwoman, all things to all people? Is alpha female someone we like, or admire? Does she even exist?

If we base alpha female on the male model, we will find her in the boardroom, impersonating his bullying and overriding ambition. Sexuality plays a big part in alpha male's success, and alpha female Margaret Thatcher was a tremendous flirt, who spent a lot of effort on her appearance. Anna Wintour, editor of US Vogue, is a classic example of alpha female, driven by insecurity and ruling by fear. She is aloof, inscrutable behind those dark glasses.

There are very few alpha females of this order, since most women have had the alpha-male qualities conditioned out of them and have been steered towards nurturing roles rather than world domination.

"Alpha female is pretty exceptional," says columnist Polly Toynbee. "There are not a whole lot of people trying to be like her, whereas there are a lot of men behaving in the same way, clambering over each other to reach the top of the tree. Those women who do get to the top are mavericks, hybrids and deny that they are like other women. Women do not like alpha female very much, nor do they want to be like her. Women want to be liked, which holds them back.

"Mrs Thatcher refused to have anything to do with the sisters. She always said, 'Don't ask me about being a woman.' Hers was the only cabinet with no other women in it."

There is no one in British politics today who could be described as alpha female: to most commentators they are not bruisers, but nannies. They are not frightening or domineering, and as a result, they will never make it to the top job.

In Hollywood films, any female character with alpha-male attributes is a monster. In The Last Seduction, Linda Fiorentino was clever, sexually voracious and heartless, a villainess for our time. In Fatal Attraction, Glenn Close refused to take abandonment in a submissive way. These were alpha anti-heroines, while in Alien, Sigourney Weaver combined courage with nurturing. As film producer Lizzie Francke points out, we have not seen alpha female in Hollywood for some years: today's action heroines, Lara Croft and the Terminatrix, are comic-book figures: "These action women are very sexualised, fetishised in leathers and tight body suits: it's boys' wet-dream material. We're not seeing career women in clicking heels any more. The difficult, truculent alpha female has been sexualised."

Beyond Hollywood, Sarah Dunant, writer and author of The Birth of Venus, sees alpha female as inhuman rather than superhuman. Her life is ordered by employees while she focuses on achievements and looking good. "Alpha female, like alpha male, depends on such a sense of innate superiority that she's probably not aware of her status. While she would be effortlessly talented and capable, she would need a reduced capacity for empathy, because otherwise it would derail her. If she has children, they only come out between 7-8pm, washed, dressed and brought up by someone else. I envisage the mind of Mary Warnock, the body of Kate Moss and the humanity of Leni Riefenstahl."

Achievement is the focus of alpha female's life; anything else is secondary. She does not obsess about relationships. She is dominant: if she married alpha male, there would be a bloodbath. Novelist Fay Weldon sees alpha female running corporations, paying little or no attention to the domestic sphere - which is where she differs from Superwoman: "Superwoman was everything man and woman wanted her to be: she did everything and was a good wife, earned a good salary and kept the carpets shampooed. Alpha woman wouldn't concern herself with housework: she would find someone else to whom she would delegate.

"We don't really like alpha woman very much, she's not a nurturer. She is not married - she's too focused to get married. She despises alpha males and they are terrified of her. She does have friends in the way the rich have friends, and flies them over to her parties. There are so few like her that it is a lonely life, but it may be worth it.

"Nicole Kidman might be more like alpha woman than anyone else: physically perfect, shrewd, intelligent, good at making money."

It may be that we are mistaken in looking for the qualities of alpha male in alpha female. Perhaps the model is entirely different, embodying the best female qualities rather than aping the male.

If we turn to nature for clues, we could look not at gorillas but elephants. Elephant society is a matriarchy, led by the biggest, strongest female, perceived as wise and kind - keeping the group together. This model of alpha female has different qualities from the male; she shares his leadership and strength, but also promotes community. She is a woman of substance, who combines physical potency with seriousness of purpose.

According to the elephantine model, motherhood is essential to alpha female's humanity: she is mature and connected. Even so, she is not hampered or compromised by motherhood in any way. Nobody would accuse her of juggling, or coping: she has staff.

Most people's images of alpha female conjure an impossible hybrid, a denatured thing. But are there alpha women who have not, as historian Professor Joanna Bourke puts it, become "men in drag"?

"I think there is a difference between alpha female and alpha male," says Bourke. "The women I would nominate have changed the world by their philosophy and writings, and they have made an impact by the way they live, or lived, their lives: Simone de Beauvoir, Virginia Woolf and Germaine Greer. In their sexual identity, in the way they constructed their domestic lives, they strove to be true to themselves. If they were confrontational, it was not for its own sake, but to say: 'This is what I am.' They acknowledge their own complexities. Alpha males do not go down that route."

"Alpha male is such a male concept," says Julia Peyton-Jones, director of the Serpentine Gallery. "It's not a term you would apply to women. Women can be as powerful as men, but to call them alpha females would be limiting. On the whole, women have to be more inventive and they have the skills to get what they want without being so crude about it."

Professor Susan Greenfield seems a candidate for alpha status: she is top of her field and still makes time to look good. She says alpha female would be in a minority, possibly the only woman in a group of men - something that, as a scientist, she knows a bit about. "She would be a leader, but not masculine in her virtues. Elizabeth I, my great heroine, was a leader, but not as a man might have been: she was feminine, stylish and very able."

Another nominee is the epitome of glorious womanhood: Dolly Parton. "She is a flawless image of womanhood who doesn't alienate other women," says writer and broadcaster Muriel Gray. "She is talented and financially powerful, she doesn't have children so she can't be a bad mother. And she is self-created. Couldn't be better."

Alpha male is driven by insecurity and fear: aware that there are many similar males climbing the ladder behind him, he clings to old-fashioned hierarchies. According to students of modern workplace culture, he may soon become redundant. This thesis was borne out by the sight of last year's Wall Street CEOs and over-promoted, hyperambitious dealers dragged before the courts. The charismatic chief executive has, it seems, become a thing of the past. We may be looking at a new generation of leaders who are consensus-builders, who don't lead from the front but push their teams forward, using traditional female skills such as listening. Whatever else he does, alpha male does not listen.

Did you hear that, Mr Campbell? Mr Campbell?
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Clare Longrigg
The Guardian, Monday 22 September 2003

Sunday, November 1, 2009