Baffled by the reality of Smooth Femdom

I’m not a dominatrix. I often ignore the many emails I receive from guys seeking a dominatrix, and referring to me as Mistress. However, when they send me repeated emails, they are often baffled when I respond that I am not a dominatrix, and to bugger off. I suspect they don’t really know what Smooth Femdom really is. The following is a more complete explanation of Smooth Femdom.

Smooth Femdom refers to a gynocentric relationship. Smooth is a metaphor for effortlessly exerting her will with ease and without roughness. While the term Femdom is a metaphore for the dominant female prerogative.

Male domination refers to 1) sociological system, and 2) particular sexual activities. The sociological system is Patriarchy. Patriarchy is a system of social organization characterized by male dominance. The sexual activities refer to Male dominance which consists of BDSM activities where the dominant partner is male. Often the dominant partner uses aggressive, rough, insensitive brutality to force ones subject into submission.

The male fantasy factory and desire machines have created a demand for internet entrepreneurs to conjure up images of the manufactured female version of the male dominant. Unfortunately, it is a distortion of female domination. Female dominants are not the patriarchal dominant porn construct of the Femdom characters distributed thought out the internet. Female domination existed in cultures going back more than 5000 years, and although it's unconventional, many gynocentric households exist today. There are some similarities between Female domination and Male domination, BUT the two destinctly differ.

In the same respect Female dominance is a 1) sociological system and 2), can pertain to psycho-sexual activities. The sociological system is Matriarchy. Matriarchy is a system of social organization characterized by Female dominance or gynocentrism. However, due to the physical differences between men and women, and their different physical and emotional needs, the psycho-sexual activity refers to her Dominant Female Prerogative, rather than the superiority of physical strength. The gynocentric prerogative is broken into two groups; the Goddess, and the Dominatrix.

The Goddess and the Dominatrix have different interests and varying approaches. The Goddess is a deity, while the Dominatrix is a servicer. The Goddess is multi-demsional, into the metaphysics, willful, independent and intense. While the Dominatrix is a monolithic character who becomes her subject’s puppet to act out his fetish list of being sexually dominated. The Goddess chooses her own path in guiding a man to spiritual ecstasy. While the Dominatrix exists to fulfill a man’s fantasy fetish list his way. The Goddess is into tantric devotion and hypnotic cosmic connections. While a Dominatrix is into whatever a man tells her he wants in order to get him off in a scene. The Goddess may partake in revelry and mischief if she pleases, as a form of foreplay and mating ritual. Conversely, the Dominatrix is only there for the revelry to work his kinks. The Goddess is rooted in who she is, determined, quirky,charming and sometimes even witty. While the Dominatrix remains in character as the dark stern corporal punisher patriarchal contruct.

Smooth Femdom refers to the developing relations between a Goddess and the object of her affection. While in the sphere of the internet porn, femdom refers to the dominatrix servicing a man to his pleasure. There is a DIFFERNCE. Reality vs Fantasy.

I'm back........ and on the prowl!

It’s been more than six months since last I felt inspired to post a thought. It is summer, I’m back and seeking that masculine submissive dude who understands me.

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century

Yesterday, I was discussing smooth femdom with a friend who asked how do I know this information; questioning the bases of my opinions on Femdom. My answer was simply reading. Then I inquired about his daily reads. The unexpected response revealed that one won't find Femdom and Tantric Devotion concepts on the cover of sports pages, nor in throws of history novels. At that point, our communication became so much like the typical Man from Venus/Woman from Mars discussion on the inferences and issues of smooth femdom and tantric devotion. This prompted me to post a recommendation to read the book Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. The author Barbara Carrellas thoroughly breaks down the ancient practice of Tantra for "the modern sexual explorers desiring to push past their edge in search of the great cosmic orgasm". This book explains the terms and concepts of tantra, the dynamic of moving chakra energy, ecstacy and heightened intimacy which are components of smooth femdom. It can be used as a guide to heightened intimacy, ecstasy, and achieve sexual and spiritual bliss. Maybe, Mars will understand what Venus is saying as it pertains to smooth femdom.

In the clip below, the author Barbara Carrellas speaks on the Sex and Sensuality Panel at the 2008 Yoga and Raw Foods Expo in New York City. The author parlays her revelation of ecstatic "sacred sex". hmmmm sounds like Smooth Femdom musing to me.



Amazon source on Urban Trantra - Barbara Carrellas is an author, sex educator, and theater artist. Her pioneering Urban Tantra® workshops were named best in New York City by TimeOut/New York magazine. She is also the cofounder of Erotic Awakening, a groundbreaking series of workshops that toured the United States and Australia. Barbara has been featured in several episodes of HBO’s Real Sex. She is also the author of Luxurious Loving: Tantric Inspirations for Passion and Pleasure, numerous articles and essays, and an audio series, The Pleasure Principle. Barbara lives in New York City with her partner, trailblazing gender theory author Kate Bornstein

World Aids Day

Today, we are observing WORLD AIDS DAY, remembering the ones we lost, those who are suffering and those who are working to end it.

The theme for World AIDS Day 2009 is 'Universal Access and Human Rights. Global leaders have pledged to work towards universal access to HIV and AIDS treatment, prevention and care, recognising these as fundamental human rights. Valuable progress has been made in increasing access to HIV and AIDS services, yet greater commitment is needed around the world if the goal of universal access is to be achieved. Millions of people continue to be infected with HIV every year. In low- and middle-income countries, less than half of those in need of antiretroviral therapy are receiving it, and too many do not have access to adequate care services.

World AIDS Day provides an opportunity for all of us - individuals, communities and political leaders - to take action and ensure that human rights are protected and global targets for HIV/AIDS prevention, treatment and care are met.

Be Safe. Protect Yourself and others.

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Source: http://www.worldaidsday.org/

Monday Morning Beauty of the Week

I must confess that during my mundane monday morning meditation & oatmeal news time, I'm drawn to the naked men sites. It's a kooky little secret fetish and even worse, a complete waste of time. Moreover, I find it quite strange that after meditation, I put a cup of water, and half cut of oatmeal on the burner for five minutes or until I smell it burning. While the oatmeal burns I click on the laptop and read the news. Yet, increasingly, I can't resist viewing The Daily Naked Drool before I read the Guardian, The Globalist or the New York Times. I've justified this little secret fetish of mine as being simply an appreciation of the beauty of the Davidian form. However, this "Naked Man thing" has gone to new heights. I subscribe to a number of naked man sites which feature the most beautiful naked men. I've discovered that of the hundreds of public blogspot subscribers, I am the only female blogspot subscriber amongst hundreds of gay male subscribers. My god, at my age the site of a lovely naked man shouldn't be such a "cooch popper". To boot, it's kind of an embarrassing childish little secret.

The hypocrisy of it all is I've passed judgement on men who post those "that's so hot" comments. Yet, this morning, after I posted a ridiculous comment to one the naked men sites, something like; "absolutely beautiful bravo bravo applause applause"; I immediately realized there just might be a problem over here, damnit. It is official, maybe I need to find a NMA program; naked man anonymous 12 step..lol. Clearly, if I'm viewing these sites before the day starts when I'm pressed for time and burning my oatmeal, it could be a little problem in denial, hello.

However, until I pass the denial stage, or discover that there is actually such a thing as a NMA program, I'll keep feeding the fetish, so check out the monday morning beauty of the week. He definitely deserves a standing ovation. Bravo, bravo, applause applause!

Gotta go, have an uberlicious day.
Until Next Time.... BCR!

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Picture Source: Nov 27th The Daily Naked Drool

TEN Things to be Thankful for..........

1. I am thankful for Family & Friends and their continued good health. I so appreciate all the wonderful family and friends who have been their for me through my life's journey.

2. I am thankful for Joy and Bliss......the lessons learned also

3. I am thankful for Love and Love lost

4. I am thankful for Freedom of Choice

5. I am thankful for being an American because this is the best country on the planet.

6. I am thankful for 10 fingers to touch, 10 toes that don't like being sucked, 2 arms that can lock you in a headlock, 2 legs that can lock you in a body scissor move , 1 head with a brain that I actually use, 2 eyes to view a beautiful naked man, 2 ears to hear the sounds of music, and 1 mouth to guide him.lol...

7. I am thankful for being able to think about the many insignificant useless information that only I care about; simply because I choose to.

8. I am thankful for Renewed Hope: the hope for global peace, the hope for a reduction in poverty, the hope for a more clean planet, the hope for US government backed healthcare to protect those who are unable to protect themselves, the hope for reduced hate and radicalism domestically and internationally, the hope to irraticate gender and ethnic clensing, the hope that same sex relationships will obtain equal rights, the hope to improve animal protection, the hope to reduce processing in the food industry and the hope for improved global diplomacy. I know that is quite abit of hope. Yet, I have renewed hope that it will all be obtained in my lifetime.

9. I am thankful for this Smooth Femdom blog to spew my thoughts on Femdom issues into the universe and express how I really feel.

10. I am thankful for meditation, yoga, palates, working out, music, art, literature, interesting novels that capture the resilience of the human spirit, happy children, happy adults and a life worth living.

To much is given, much is expected. Hence, I am in gratitude; as I owe so many. Therefore, I'm most appreciative.

Luv, BCR

FEMALE SUPREMACY? Huh....Are you Serious?

M.Lorr, of the Female Supremacy blog asserts that conventional men do not develop intimate communication skills and therefore, grow up feeling incomplete and lonely from emotional starvation. Men miss the connection they had with their moms in the early years of their lives. They see women as an extension of their mothers and look for women to fill that role, But when the majority of women withhold the love, nurturing and attention that they so desperately crave, they get filled with seething anger. She goes further to assert that some think they can force intimacy through manipulation and patriarchal aggression such as rape, assault, terrorism, and oppression.

Up until just recently, I rejected the term FEMALE SUPREMACY as nothing more than a satirical paradox. It simply seemed ridiculous because Patriarchy has dominated every culture since the beginning of time, accept for Amazonian Greek mythology. As such, patriarchal dominance has destroyed civilizations, cultures, species and now the planet. When I first became aware of the term "female supremacy", I thought it was humorously satirical due to it's mere improbability. However, the philosophical doctrine, of love, peace, compassion, empathy, sensitivity, nurturing, development is the prevalent theme underlying the definition of female supremacy. Hence, this planet needs healing from the thousands of years of continuous destruction from Patriarchal dominance.

M. Lorr further asserts that patriarchy encourages and fosters aggression and terrorism. While, Female supremacy fosters growth, unity and empowerment. Women make better managers and planners because we are more diplomatic, empathetic, intuitive and are emotionally stronger. We should leave the hard labor to the men since they are built for labor anyway. Sure there will be a few bad female seeds here and there, but that is nothing compared to the magnitude of destruction and oppression patriarchy has caused.

Although, I completely agree with her assertions, I am not clear how we can over come patriarchal dominance. Men will destroy the world before they allow their power to be stripped away. In fact, they use killing and destruction as a tool to wield power. Consequently, women create life as men destroy it. One way to reverse that dynamic is to rear your boys like you reared your girls. However, institutional gender development can intercede, and re-enforced patriarchal dominance amongst male and female children. There by leaving dominant women in the minority against the powerful traditionalist. Again, I am not sure what the answer is to this, but I hope to discover it in my lifetime. Until then, I will continue to muse about this concept. I hope this new era of the masculine submissive, metrosexual, beta male, and or the submale will evolve the current state of play.

The FemDom Construct should be defined by a Woman

The FemDom construct should be defined by women. The common patriarchal dominant construct of femdom falsely suggest that a woman has the same physical needs and sexual needs as men. In actuality, the sexual build up for men and women are different, because our bodies are different and we are socialized differently.


A woman's sensual body is not the female version of a man's sensual body. Many Femdom blogs are written from the fantasies of horny men. Frankly, it's topping from the bottom when he defines for her what her chakra spinners aught to be, rather than understand what they actually are. For example, a woman's clitoris is not a tiny penis. Therefore, when a man engages in cunnilingus he shouldn't repeatedly wack my clitoris with his tongue. Because it does nothing for me, other than being an annoyance. Where in a man can be roughly taken to the edge by yanking and sucking his penis sensually. We are different, and our bodies work differently. A woman needs more tongue penetration. His slippery tongue should go as deeply into my vaginal canal as far as he can get it to reach. He should suck out the "cooch juice" ,rim the vaginal opening, kiss the vaginal opening, and lick the vaginal walls which actually creates kinetic energy that ignites the spinning of the chakras and awakens the kundalini. Moreover, gently sucking the labia, gently sucking and licking the clitoris, and licking the internal walls of the vaginal canal generates energy that creates and epic orgasm. He should lick it in a rhythmic upward motion, instead of a that fast circular motion that porn promotes. The easiest way to train a man to bring me to orgasm is to pour a little chardenay or orange juice in the opening of the vagina while he is licking and let him lick and suck it up with the intent to keep drops from falling on the sheets. The result is an orgasmic explosion.

Frankly, I prefer a real orgasm to faking it. The point is that the Femdom experience should be defined by the Fem not the Men.

The Enigma of a Gay Dude trapped in a Black Chick's body

This Man in this picture with that body brings out the absolute lust in me! At times I feel like a gay man trapped in a woman's body. I love naked men, the kind with the beautiful Davidian form. They are a visual work of Art. As I get older, men my age have growing stomachs with out of shape bodies. I have no idea why I am visually stimulated by the male body. It's a secret fetish of sort, that won't go away. The site of a tall, fit, beautiful naked man makes my vagina throb; without being touched. No fantasy required, just a "hetero-cock", hot flesh, tight abs, a hard body, and a beautiful face. It's the weirdest thing. The lust builds up like light bulb dimmer beaming brighter and brighter. However, the light switch can easily turn off with an act of disrespect or insult. Lustful sexual intensity can build with simply the sight of a Davidian cutie. However, he can drive me from hot to cold in less that two seconds. I consider it a fetish because there are not many women who share the same erotic endorphin chakra sutras. However, my gay friends understand this completely. Therefore, this lovely picture is homage to the 30something & or 40something Naked Men with Davidian bodies. It is the essence of beauty, Bravo! Bravo!